A Short Story Essay: It's cyclical

 They were having lunch this one day. Burgers. He chose one, and she chose another, and then they cut the burgers in half because they're both indecisive it would seem. The burgers tasted good. 
Good conversation, good food and good company. These are the things that make a successful social encounter.

"Every couple of years something life-changing happens in my life", she said. "Likewise", he said, "For me, it's every three years. Change happens, I need to make a big decision or something along those lines". 
 "I realised that my cycle is four years. Every four years something changes in my life, and it almost always feels devastating", she continued. 

How nice it was to have someone who could relate to her about the cycles. She thought she was the only one of her friends that realised this. Honestly, it does sound weird. 
She often fears that if she brought this up in any other conversation, the other person may say that she'd be doing that self-proclaiming prophecy thing. 
However, she would argue that it's not the same as a self-fulfilling prophecy, but rather an observation that resulted from a keen awareness of one's life. (These arguments only occur in her mind because she wouldn't bring this up in conversation out of fear.)

Observing life with such intensity can help with one's self-awareness. If one understands the cycles, one would realise that these turning points are pinnacle moments that would shape them and their path, to an extent.

This is what Blue learned for herself. Each person's cycles' turning points can be interpreted in different ways, and it can have different implications for each person. Being aware of these turning points is what is essential. Understanding the cycles don't really help with preparing for the future, but rather, they're there to help each person understand themselves better and to help them recognise moments of growth.

The first time a cycle happened to Blue, she couldn't understand it. The changes that happened was all too confusing and hard to make sense of. At that point, her friends were graduating and she would be left alone and friendless for who knew how long. She couldn't understand how she had neglected to foster better bonds with people around her in her year. She felt lost, on her own and starting over without a trusted support system.
The next time it happened, her future plans fell apart before her. The world was moving on. People around her started new jobs, internships, study programmes. And there she was picking up the broken pieces of her dream and trying to find a new dream. Once again she was forced to take decisive action for her life. "One could not wallow in self-pity forever", she thought.
During that time, life was moving very slowly and this is where she realised that this was a cycle. What an "ah-ha" moment that was for her. It made sense to her and was able to pin different turning-points in her life that were significant to defining the person that she became and was becoming.
When the next cycle occurred, it was heart-wrenchingly painful and difficult, but it wasn't unsurprising.

So every 3 to 4 years, she was faced with a choice to either take decisive action and grow or allow herself to drown in her pity.

Even though they happen and you can have a rough idea of when it will happen, there is nothing that can prepare you for the feelings, the challenges, the agony of mulling over decision after decision, the repercussions of those decisions and the accompanying waves of anxiety. 
Each time the change is different, but the core intention is the same: Growth. 

It has to happen. One cannot stop it. So instead one has to learn, through many cycles, to ride the wave. 
Or at least to try to ride the wave. 

The board is shakey, and sometimes you'll get knocked off. But you can always swim to the surface, climb back on the board and try again. 
And again.
And again. 
And again. 

It's cyclical. So remember to not lose yourself to the wallowing. Each cycle you learn something and you grow. In each cycle, you'll become more mature, more self-aware and you'll have a better understanding of how to handle yourself and all the feelings when they come.